-

toki a, jan ale o! mi jan Kekan San! mi wile pana e sona ni: seme la sina ken toki e pona pi jan ante?

Hey everyone, I'm gregdan3, and today I'm gonna tell you about how you can flirt in Toki Pona!

This is a fun Valentine's Day themed lesson since that was just a few days ago!

Now, I do want to say two quick things before I get started: I'm gonna be focusing on the compliments involved in flirting, and how that can work in Toki Pona. It's up to you to find somebody who's interested!

And the second, compliments are different to different people- and to different cultures. I grew up in the southern United States with my own set of experiences, and I don't think I'm going to be able to separate my experiences from this lesson- but with any luck, I can generalize enough that these lessons can still work for you. And, of course, we're going to be focusing on how compliments relate to and work in Toki Pona, so that helps!

With that out of the way, we can get right to it, starting with:

What even is a compliment?

Compliments take many forms.

They can focus on looks, personality traits, things you've done, skills you have, things you care about, and tons more.

But the core is pointing one of those things out, and saying what you see that's so good about it!

And this is something Toki Pona excels at- the honesty and directness of a good compliment is exactly what Toki Pona wants from all communication.

So let's get to examples! These will be similar to the in-context examples you've seen from my main lessons.

Let's say a friend recently got a sweet haircut. It suits them so well. It's sharp. It's perfect from morning to night.

How many ways can we tell them we thing their hair is amazing? First, we can just say it:

linja sina li wawa a

Which translates something like, "Your hair is amazing."

This pattern is gonna show up a lot, because most compliments boil down to describing something in a positive way.

but what if we wanted to get more specific?

sina weka tan lape lon tenpo poka, taso linja sina li awen pona tawa lukin

Here, we're giving nearly the same compliment- with wawa swapped for pona- but now with a bit more context:

Translation: You woke up just a bit ago, but your hair still looks great!

The added context gives a little boost to the compliment. Your hair isn't just good- I would've expected some bedhead, but no, your hair is still great!

There's now a specific reason why you're impressed!

Let's look at another one:

What if you wanted a more intimate compliment, like when you're already close to somebody?

You need to have established trust to make this work, but we can still explore what that might look like in Toki Pona:

If you're close enough to somebody that you're playing with their hair, a compliment to the feeling of their hair could be very welcome. Let's have a look:

linja sina li suwi a tawa pilin. mi wile lape lon ona

The translation is something like, "Your hair is soft to the touch. I want to sleep on it"

Here, the focus shifts to how you relate to what you're complimenting-

This is from a really old discussion, but thanks to kulupu Kemeten and soweli Sopi for the inspiration on this one!

You'll notice that these compliments got more complex as we went on! Adding a bit more detail to the way you're feeling, the experience you've had, to the vibe you'd like to express- these things can help your compliment feel more earnest. It isn't phatic- isn't something you're saying just to say. There's a reason you're giving this compliment!

Alright, that's enough hair compliments! Let's try another subject:

Let's imagine your friend is in an archery contest, and you came to watch but weren't totally sure what to expect. Your friend gets a super impressive score, places first, and after the fact you come talk to them about it:

mi lukin e sina lon utala pi ilo alasa! sina sona wawa e nasin pana.

translation: I was watching you in the archery contest. You're very skilled at shooting.

I've picked a really specific example here, but this works for essentially any skill: They probably know they're skilled- but it feels good to be seen, and to be recognized for the skills you have.

Alternatively, let's imagine your friend is especially skilled at crochet. They're showing off some of their work, and you're so excited by what you see, you say:

sina sona pali e soweli len suwi! a ona li suwi wawa, mi wile e ona!

Here, the translation is about your excitement: "You're skilled in making cute yarn animals! It's so cute, I want one!"

This is another expression of compliments: the way you present yourself says something about the compliment and your feelings.

Your wording can express that, and so can your face and tone. If you're excited for your friend as you compliment them, the compliment works that much better.

What if you're visiting a friend's home, and you're interested in everything on their shelves, or the pretty arrangement of their place?

Sometimes, a compliment can redirect just a bit, asking for somebody to tell a story:

[tomo sina li pona a tawa mi! ijo mute li lon. ni li seme? seme la sina jo e ona?]

Here, we start with a short and to the point compliment of your friend's home, but then redirect to the things in their home- and ask, what's this?

Little tip: A lot of people love to talk about themselves, their stuff, their story. Giving them that opportunity can be just as fun for them telling the story as you hearing it!

Alright, one more!

[mi tu li toki mute la mi pilin pona mute. tenpo kama la, sina wile ala wile musi?]

This one's not just a compliment. It's a prompt too:

"When the two of us talk, I feel great. Later, would you want to play a game?"

The common thread here that every compliment works like this:

You take something you like about somebody and describe that something in a positive way.

Toki Pona does more than give you the tools for compliments- the sincerity and literal-ness of Toki Pona excels at expressing compliments.

But one thing I haven't focused on here is subtext. Often, when giving a compliment, the giver will have more feelings, more to say, beyond the literal interpretation of their words. In some contexts, a compliment is just a compliment. In others, it can be an admission of attraction, or of shared excitement in a hobby or interest. Or you know, a compliment can just be an honest compliment.

I'll be frank here. Subtext is not something I'm good at. But I find it hard to believe that no toki pona has subtext. Fortunately, Toki Pona gives us one more tool: its earnesty makes it a bit easier to just ask, how are you feeling?

Or maybe ask...

toki a, suwi o. sina wile ala wile e ko